 | | Santa: bhagwane suit bada sohna paya hai
jeeto: thank u g
santa: lipstick badi sohni laayi aa
jeeto: thank u g
santa: shingaar v sohna kitaa aa
jeeto: thank u g
santa: par sohni pher v nahi lagdi |
|
| | Girl: will u marry me?
santa: no, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai
mummy ne papa se, didi ne jijaji se aur bhaiya ne bhabhi se
|
|
| | Banta: yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
santa: suicide karne ke liye
banta: to phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
santa: kahin infection na ho jaaye
|
|
| | In a train compartment husband: darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin
main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer to main kutton ko daal doon
banta sitting on upper berth says: bow bow
|
|
| | In a train compartment husband: darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin
main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer to main kutton ko daal doon
banta sitting on upper berth says: bow bow
|
|
| | Santa: i have swallowed a kay
doctor: when?
santa: 3 months back!
doctor: what were you doing till now?
santa: i was using duplicate key, now i have lost it too
|
|
| | A sweet girl goes to banta's shop and said: mujhe underwear dikhao
banta sharmate hue: aaj pehan kar nahin aaya
|
|
| | Two days of powercut in delhi had made life miserable
worst affected was delhi metro station where families of santa & banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators |
|
| | Santa: ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain
jeeto: kyon! aapke dost chura lengey?
santa: nahin, pehchan lengey |
|
| | Titanic was sinking
an englishman asked santa, "how far is land"?
santa: 2 kms
englishman jumped into sea
englishman: now, which direction?
santa: downwards! |
|
| | Touch my heart & u%u2019ll feel,
listen to my heart & u%u2019ll hear,
look into my heart & u%u2019ll see,
that u%u2019ll always be a special part of me |
|
| | Tere hathon mitran ne hona ae katal,
munde tainu kehnde baaran bor di rafal,
asin wekhnae khud nu tabah karke,
aaja waj ja bandook diye goliyee ni seene vich tha karke
!!
|
|
| | New style of proposing a girl
"i hv spent many sleepless nights in ur luv n i dont want my son 2 do d same 4 your daughter so lets mk them brother n sister |
|
| | Sex is like nokia -connecting people
like nike -just do it
like pepsi -ask for more
like samsung -everyone is invated
and like me -to good to be true |
|
 | | Gabbar: are o samba kitni goliyan hai? gabbar: admi 3 aur goliyan 6%u2026 bahut nainsafi hai
samba: kahe ki nainsafi sardar 3 admiyon ki 6 goli hi to hoti hai!
|
|
 | | Chuha to haathi: tuhadi umar kinni hai?
haathi: 1 saal, te teri?
chuha: umar ta meri v 1 saal hi hai, par saale nashe patte ne mittran di sehat down jehi karti
|
|
| |
santa: yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
banta: gold ring de de
santa: koi vadi cheez das yaar
banta: tan fer mrf da tyre de de
|
|
| | Tennu gall laun da chaah hi reha,
tere shehar aaun da chaah hi reha
laara laa ke rakheya kaagaz kalam nu,
khat tere naam paun da chaah hi reha
ik vaari meri haan'ch haan milaayi nahin,
tennu apni zindagi banaun da chaah hi reha
roz peenda reha ja ja ke maikhaane cho,
tere naina vicho peen da chaah hi reha
|
|
| | In a city bus:
lady1 : yennaadi
oruthan 5 nimishamaa
un jacketukkulla kaiyyai
vittukkuttu irukkaie
?
lady2 : ulla naan
mannipparsu vaikkalai
!
avan nalla yeamaara
poaraan
|
|
| | There was a german, an italian and our santa on death row
the warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:
to be shot
to be hung
to be injected with the aids virus for a slow death
the german said, "shoot me right in the head
" (boom, he was dead instantly
)
then the italian said, "just hang me
" (snap, he was dead
)
then banta said, "give me some of that aids stuff
"
they gave him the shot, and banta fell down laughing
the guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy
then banta said, "give me another one of those shots
" so the guards did
now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over
finally the warden said, "what is wrong with you?"
banta replied, "you guys are so stupid
i'm wearing a condom!" |
|
|
