 | | bacha apni dadi se: dadi aap kon kon kon se mulk ghoomi hain?
dadi: beta pakistan hindustan afghanistan
bcha : ab kon sa mulak aur ghoomo gi ?
peche se dada bola
qabrastan |
|
| | bhayia to doctor:dr sahab bari pareshani hai..
kal raat sex karne ke baad pishaab ana band ho gaya hai
dr.after checking
abey bhench....bhayia condom kiya tera me uttaron
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|
| | after wedding night bill gates asked his wife, darling, how was it?
wife disappointedly said, hunh! now i know why you named your company micro soft
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|
| | kisi ko ishq ki tarap maar deti hai,
kisi ko pyaar ki gehrai maar deti hai,
jo is se bach jaye usay
bina dupatey wali larki ki angrai maar deti hai
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|
 | | q: what is the similarity between men and rats?
a: both keep searching for new holes.
q: what's the difference between biology and sociology?
a: when the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology. when the baby looks like neighbour, then it is sociology.
girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. in the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. guess where it would have bitten?
the boy's hand......
secret of long life...
morning two eggs, evening two pegs......and night between two legs… |
|
 | | ladki ladke se kahti hai: “jub hum ladkiyaa gandi baatein karti hai to tum logo ke kaan kyu khade ho jaate hai?”
ladka: “oh! achha??, to tum log use kaan kahte ho“ |
|
| | teacher santa se: “jab main padati hun to tum apne sir mein tel (oil) kyu lagane lag jaate ho?”
santa: “kal raat mummy daddy ko kah rahi thhi ki agar andar nahi jaa raha to tel laga lo“ |
|
| | boyfrend wanted sex with his girlfrend.
but he was shy of his small penis. one day he took her to a dark room & gave his penis in her hand.
girl: “sorry i dont smoke“ |
|
| | ek ladki ka rape ka case court mein chal raha thha
judge: “jab tumhara rape ho raha thha tab tum kesa mehsus kar rahi thi?”
ladki: “laddu agar jabardasti se bhi khilaya jaye to meetha hi lagta hai.“ |
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| | degrees of girls
mba – married but available
ba – beautifull ass
mbbs – member of big boobs society
llb – lovely lickable breasts
bsc – beautifull sexy cun.t |
|
| | husband: “tum meri kis cheez se sabse jyada impress ho..?”
life style, car, bank balance?
biwi: “tumhare sex se, tumhare jesa sex oure mohalle mein kisi ko nahi aata..!“ |
|
| | a man was working in mumbai, and did not meet his
wife for four (4) years while his wife was in patna (bihar).
at the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his
colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.
his colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "happy
event" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years...
the man said it is common in bihar that neighbours take care of the
wife (good samaritans) when men are away.
the colleagues asked him, "what name will you give to the son?"
the man explained, "if its the second neighbor who has taken
care,then the name would be "dwivedi";
if it is the third neighbor then it would
be "trivedi",
if it is the fourth neighbor then it
would be "chaturvedi" ;
if its the fifth neighbor then it would
be "pandey"...
after listening to this, questions followed.
what if it is a mixture of neighbours?
"then the boy would be named "mishra"...
and what if the wife is too shy to tell
the name of the neighbour?
then it would be "sharma"...
but what if she refuses to divulge the
name of the neighbour?
then the name of the child would be "gupta"...
if she does not remember the name then?
"it is yaad-av"
but who knows whether the child resulted
from a rape?
then it will be named "doshi"...
finally, if the child happened because
of wife's burning desire?
then he will be named "joshi"...
and if the whole country had made efforts
for the happy arrival?....
"deshpandey. " |
|
| | ladki usually sex karne ke baad kya kahti hai?
i love you?
wrong!
that was great?
wrong again!
i love it?
aray nahi yaar….
sahi jawab: “suno meri bra and panty kaha rakhi hai.“ |
|
| | ek lady ne 500 rs ka note shopkeeper ko diya
shopkeeper bola: “aapne kya is note ko apni bra mein rakha thha?”
lady: “haan, par aapko kese pata?”
shopkeeper: “because mahatma gandhi ka muh khula hua hai“ |
|
| | there were three fast friends...a pandit, a baniya and a jatt.
teenon ne sab kuchh saath saath hi kia -- schooling, college, yahan tak ki shaadi bhi -- teenon honeymoon bhi saath saath hi gaye...
aur ek hi hotel main stay kia. lekin sara sara ka sara bill jatt per daal diya. dono ne baniyagiri aur bamangiri dikha di....
so, hotel main pahunchane ke baad, teenon apne rooms main jaane se pahle mile aur decide kiya ki subah ko breakfast table par ek doosre ko batayenge ki kisne kitni baar kiya.
par samasya thi ki apni patniyon ke saamne kaise is bare main baat karenge. par teenon bahut smart the, jaldi hi solution bhi dhoondh liya, ki jo jitne baar bread par butter lagayega to uska matlab hoga ki usne utni baar sex kiya.
aur teenon apne apne room main chale gaye.
subah teenon mile...breakfast table par...teenon ki wives bhi thi.
tou pehle pandit ne apni bread uthai, aur butter lagaya...ek baar...do %u2028baar... aur wapas plate main rakh di.
phir baniye ne apni bread uthai... butter lagaya... ek baar... do baar... phir bread ko palta... phir butter lagaya... ek ... do. matlab, do baar donon taraf se thoka...
ab baari thi jatt ki.
usne apni bread uthai...butter lagaya... ek ... do baar ... use palta ... ek baar butter lagaya ... do baar ... phir pandit ki bread uthai... donon taraf butter lagaya aur rakh di ... phir baniye ki bread uthai ... aur use bhi donon taraf butter laga diya ... %u2028aur jattgiri shuru....... |
|
| | angreji aur desi mein kya farak hota hai?
angreji kaam ko dimaak mein aur ch**t ko lund pe rakhta hai .
aur desi ch**t ko dimaak mein aur kaam ko lund pe rakhta hai |
|
| | dhritarashtra ke sau putra the
lekin paandu ke sirf paanch. aisa kyun?
seedhi baat hai- jinhe aakhen hoti hai unhe aur bhi kaam hote hai.
|
|
| | miss:
batao bacho! hassney ka opposite word kya ho ga?
girl:
'sex'
miss ghusey se:
kaisey?
girl:
hassna hota hai - ha ha ha ha
aur
sex hota hai - ah ah ah ah.
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|
| | ek baar ek aadmi marketing job ke liye interview dene gaya.
interviewer- batao, woh kya hai jisko chaar wheels hai aur bahoot tej chalti hai.
aadmi- car.
interviewer- galat! bmw car. bhaiya, yeh marketing hai. chalo ab batao woh kya hai jisko 2 wheels hai aur bahoot tej chalti hai.
aadmi- bike.
interviewer- phir galat. yamaha bike!
aadmi- interview gaya bhaad mein. ab mai poochta hoon, aap jawab do. woh kya hai jiske idhar baal hai, udhar baal hai, aur beech mein ched.
interviewer- hmmmm, ch**t.
aadmi- galat! teri maa ki ch**t. |
|
| | chuha billi se darta hai,
billi kutte se darti hai,
kutta aadmi se darta hai,
aadmi biwi se darta hai,
bwi chuhhe se darti hai.!
duniya gol hai.. |
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